Saturday, November 24, 2007

Lifting Holiday Spirits

But enough about Thanksgiving - on to The Big One. Everyone knows the real reason for the 4-day Thanksgiving holiday is to prepare for Christmas.

The whirring and beeping sound of scissorlifts through our neighborhood signifies the start of the holiday season. Yes, really. Around here people take their Christian retail holiday house-decorating very seriously. So scissorlifts bump and grunt their way up and down our sunny suburban streets, helping happy homeowners cover their pride with swag, taunting other sunny neighbors to bigger, better, brighter. I've seen things that would frighten Christo.

A few even pay someone to come up with themes and designs. Yes, yes, really -they hire a holiday stylist. Some recent themes seem to include the following:

  • Daddy never got me a pony so I'm covering my house with lights to spite him. And next year I get to pick out his nursing home.
  • The brightest house is the happiest house.....dammit. :)
  • Silent Night my ass - wait'll you hear the generator for my inflatables!

I'm considered a bit old-school because I use a ladder and put up my own decorations. A few neighbors have generously suggested that I pay someone to help me with my lights. When they tell me how much it costs, I mention that's about the same amount I give to the local soup kitchen, and that's usually enough to drive them back inside to their glass of Merlot. Ho, ho, ho. Even here in SoCal, it can be so very, very cold.


ScottMGS said...


Annie said...

Jeez, Scott, switch to decaf, will ya? You're scaring me. ;)

gjd said...

I can't imagine having somebody else deco my house. Hire a "stylist"? Hello? How about we go with...hmmm...a Christmas theme! OY! Way to tell 'em what it's about, Annie!

Anonymous said...

last february, when it was 'heart disease month'...

"I'm wearing red, to support the fight against heart disease."

"Stupid me, I just wrote a check." -insomniac

Mad Scientist said...

We are kickin it old school. We got our tree this weekend and hired a few random children to string popcorn and cranberries as decorations.

Annie said...

insom - hilarious zinger!
mad - I could see maybe paying kids, but a stylist?

WriterDude said...

Annie, once again I admire your ability to remain real while living amongst the plastic people.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to get our tree out from under the basement stairs and out of its box.