Sunday, November 4, 2007

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Strappy Shoes

Ever since I could drive myself to the mall I've been dedicated to shopping. Yes, the wondrous jingle of keys paired with a shiny new driver's license meant freedom in so very many ways. For me, the sweetest one was being free of a mother 'helping' me choose polyester ick/crud at Monkey Wards or Sears. They could be giving away free wardrobes for life in those stores and you still couldn't drag me in there.

Recently I tried to go back into a Sears. I figured after so long I should be over the trauma. But it still smelled of musty plastic and DCon, just like when my mom took me there. My heart started to palpitate, my palms grew damp, and my head spun around. The rest of my body followed my head out the door. For weeks after that I'd flashback to stretchy, striped zipper-necked tops that itched my skin and broke my spirit. Noooooo!

Anyway, ever since my release from polyester hell I've nurtured the art and thrill of the sale. The online purchase is a threefold thrill - buying, getting, and wearing. Sheer heaven. And oh! - the mall prowl where you don't know what you're hunting until you have it in your sights, then bag it and take it home. Sweet.

Sweet to the point of having to reinforce the rack system in my walk-in closet to keep it from collapsing again. Actually it's more of a 'walk-in-and-gasp' closet. Women drool and guys freak. I'm sure you can guess why:
Girlfriend: Oh, my, gawd....I LOVE this!
Boyfriend: Whut...why...how many....oh, my, god.

Recently though, I'm embarassed to say, I've lost my edge. Catalogs no longer hold a thrill for me. Online is nice and easy, but it's just not the same as it used to be. The mall is okay, but I'd rather take a nap. A nap.

Is it possible to lose the will to shop? What a horrible thing to consider. I'm hoping it's just a breather between binges, that perhaps with a little more iron or bran in my diet, the spirit will return. But who knows.

Strange but true - about the same time I lost my shopping urge, chocolate also lost its appeal. Yes, that's right, the nectar of the gods was no longer good enough for me. Please help me, Saint Hershey - I know not what I do. And I'm frightened.

In the past, when I'd swing through a phase, certain obsessions would shift and sway but not entirely disappear. For instance, during one pregnancy, all I wanted to eat was salsa and chips. I subbed salsa for chocolate, but still had the craving. When I bought a home, I subbed Home Depot for Nordstrom for a while but still kept that credit card busy. But now, no craving to shop OR snack. What the fudge?

Let me promise you this - I WILL be back. I WILL shop again. I WILL control the urge to capitalize the word 'WILL.' I do not go easily into the dark night without a fight or a coupon or a credit card.

10 comments:

ScottMGS said...

I will freely admit to being a non-shopper (well, unless it's Fry's Electronics but that doesn't count, right? Right?) but I do understand about lulls (not LOLs) or plateaus. For me, they *usually* coincide with me being infatuated with or, more likely, obsessing on something (or someone). Know what I mean?

Kristina said...

No chocolate cravings? Yikes! Hope you feel better soon.

I'm more of a window shopper than a buyer, but I do like looking at stuff.

Schadeboy said...

Annie - This is more or less in response to your comment on Dave's blog about making my t-shirt available for purchase. It's kinda funny you should say that, because I've started a process to negotiate with Dave on just that exact topic. Only instead of using CafePress, I will be making them myself. The shirt that I'm wearing in the picture with Dave is screen-printed (not what CafePress does, though I don't want to knock them). I'm hoping to get a line of Dave Barry shirts available on our web site by the first quarter of next year.

gjd said...

Annie, there is hope. I've had this happen...and not necessarily just when I don't have money. I just move on to a different hobby for a while. Yes, I have gotten *whispers* tired of buying shoes *stop whisper* but it has never lasted more than a handful of months. Instead I hit a craft store or a fabric store (I love sewing) or home improvements or gardening. Just consider is a "refocus" of your efforts. Hang in there!

Annie said...

Thank you for all the 'get well soon' wishes. I'm sure this is just a phase and I'll be back to burning through the old credit card again real soon. It's nice to know so many people are as concerned about 'retail therapy' as I am. Tee-hee. Good suggestions, too.

Schadeboy - congrats on meeting Dave! He's terrific. I'll be posting my exploits with him here soon. With pictures. I also have a collection coming out on cafepress.com that my son designed. Lots of good things happening. Maybe that's why I have no craving to shop. Hmmmm...

Kristina said...

I'm an artist in my spare time and I'm getting interested in trying to sell prints of paintings and or illustrated stories. Would like to hear about your experiences with using CafePress, etc. when you have them. Thanks,

diverdowndoc said...

Annie- do ya need a CAT scan of your head? I know a guy....

Anonymous said...

didn't think i'd ever comment on a post about shoe shopping, but we are not long from the time of year where we are guilted that the country is going into a depression if we don't spend, spend, spend!

so your malaise should at least be a recognized illness, or excuse for murder, or something...-insomniac

Leetie said...

Wow. I know exactly what you mean about the smell at Sears.

*snork* @ your tags

And... can I have your i-babies? ;)

Annie said...

Leetie - sure you can have my i-babies. I'll sell them to ya real cheap.