West Coast Yankee Fan Seeks 27th World Series Ring

As a Yankee fan, rings are important. As a woman, jewelry, well, jewelry rocks. In slightly over a century, my beloved team has brought home 26 shiny finger-favors, averaging about one every four years. In the sports world - great. In my jewelry box - not so hot. More, please. Now.

Out here on the West Coast, Yankee fans are not so populous or popular. That's ok, we're tough. We may be high maintenance, but we're worth it. We expect more of our team and of ourselves. We exude confidence, creativity, and high SAT scores. And sometimes we exaggerate a little. But we love our team, and don't mind wearing our hearts on our sleeves.

Recently Major League Baseball recognized the vast, heretofore untapped female fan base. Girly merchandise is now a multi-million dollar market, to the point that nearly every team has their logo available in pink, in rhinestones, on undies...Money talks, old guys balk. Hey, nothing is sacred. Get used to it.

Unfortunately, to this day I've yet to find the proper combination of Yankee clothing to guarantee a win. I've tried jerseys, bracelets, necklaces, unmentionables, combinations of the above...nothing seems to do the trick. Wait, maybe that's it - nothing.

Why do some people hate the Yankees so much? They revel and bond over this hatred. It's understood and apparently needs no real justification. Perhaps they don't like old, white, rich guys who want to win and put their money where their team is. Perhaps they see Derek Jeter as that perfect stud in high school who got all the girls and now he's acting like a nice guy just to piss them off. Perhaps the perfection of their female fan base is a turn-off. Whatever. They're taking the cheap shots from the cheap seats. As far as I'm concerned, they can stay there. Grumpy bunnies, all of them. You know who you are. Grrrrr....

But understand that sometimes it takes guts to love a winner. Despised simply because of their dominance, winners can be intimidating, especially to losers. Maybe...stay with me here....it takes a winner to love a winner. (Private message to Bosox fans - neener!) One of my signature sayings used to be, Don't hate me because I'm beautiful - there are so many better reasons. I traded a few of my signature sayings for a player to be named later. Hopefully a pitcher.

Even good champagne stings the eyes. As a Yankee fan I know this. But I sure could use some new jewelry. Especially if Mr. Steinbrenner is buying.