Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Nashville Camp

Tired of singing only in the shower? Want someone besides the dog to appreciate your vocal chops? Your wait is over - come to Camp Nashville and for five fun-filled days, be treated like the latest, greatest country music star. All for the mere pittance of $7,995 (hotel not included). Yes, this is in small type. Yes, I was stunned at the price, too.

Welcome to Nashville's fantasy camp for Country Music Elvii-wannabes. I've always wanted to use the term, Elvii- it sounds very scientific, scholarly, and well, cool. Do I care if it's grammatically correct? Noooo. Thank yew. Thank yew verra much.

Camp Nashville is sponsored by CMT, Country Music Television, proud purveyors of such shows as My Big Redneck Wedding and Country Fried Home Videos. Call me crazy, but I envision Camp Nashville being filmed and produced as a future television musical train wreck, a la American Idol's William Hung episode.

The first camp will be held February 12th-16th. Makes sense, since many of these crooners will be celebrating Valentine's Day with the person they love the most. Themselves. They'll get to sing onstage in a club, so it could be fun. Hey, it could happen.

Maynard: Golly, Lurleen, I sounded much better in the shower....must be this here microphone.

Judge: NEXT!

No judges listed though, so far just a 'mentor' and a vocal coach are attached. Guess I'm dreaming of "American Idol - Camp Redneck." Hey, it could happen.

Although fantasy camps have been around a while, up until now I'd only heard of the baseball type. These are usually attended by financially-endowed, middle-aged guys who always dreamed of making the major leagues. It's all in good fun as they get a whiff of what 'the show' is like, then go home.

Perhaps this will lead to other creative camps such as:

  • CPA Camp - balance spreadsheets like a real, live Certified Public Accountant. Hang at the coffeemaker with other radical CPA's and diss the geeks in R&D. Class includes free pair of black-rimmed glasses and CPA Camp Special Edition calculator. (Pen protector available at additional cost.)

  • Camp Mafia - pretty much self-explanatory. I'd tell you more, but then I'd have to kill you, so fuggedaboudit.
You think I'm kidding? I'm as serious as a country ballad sung in the rain in an alley- http://www.campnashville.com/

UPDATE - just discovered this gem - Singstar Country for the Playstation 2 - homestyle karaoke with artists like Brad Paisley, Gretchen Wilson, and Alan Jackson. There's even a contest - best singer goes to the Country Music Awards. And it's a tad less expensive than Camp Nashville. (Just don't take your Playstation 2 into the shower to sing.)

P.S. Whatever happened to just picking up a guitar and singing?

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