Friday, September 12, 2008

Can God Multi-task?

The obvious answer would be "yes," because by definition God can do virtually anything. However, is there a limit to this? Are there times when God's so gol-dang busy that she throws up her holy hands and says, "Screw this - I'm getting a beer and a bubble bath." Purists would say "no," but they enjoy saying "no" so for now let's ignore them. They hate that.

There have been times when I've needed God and didn't seem to get an answer. The need wasn't life or death, really, but pretty important to me. And it's not like I bought the warranty and I'm owed an answer. I just expected some sort of response. No burning bush or water into wine, but at least a 'Yeah, I hear ya. I'm workin' on it.'

Of course there are many more pressing issues around the globe, enough that God has probably set up a few minions to handle them 24/7. In fact, I'll bet all the standard problems are parsed out to specialists. Famine and war crimes are most likely not dealt with by the same entities that handle the aching crush you have on a co-worker or schoolmate.

Maybe it's God by committee. That would be frightening. Do they sit around debating what to do?

Entity #2038: Really, if we must have a hurricane, send it toward Galveston. They are way overdue.

Entity #2455: How can you say that?

Entity #2038: Do you see where they build? Helloooo!

Entity #2455: Let it just fizzle out in the Gulf of Mexico so no one gets hurt.

Entity #2038: See, this is why we don't get respect up here anymore. Every once in a while, you gotta pull out some whup-ass.... 'Wrath of God' and all that jazz. They got plenty of warning. The smart ones will get out of the way. The rest can deal with Darwin.

Entity #2455 (leaving in tears): You're so cruel! Why I have to work with you, I have no idea.

Entity #2038: Have you seen what they've been naming the hurricanes? Ike, for goodness sake. They need to show some respect. What about Igor? Now that's a storm! You're not gonna hang out if an Igor is headed your way.

Entity #3223: Can we break for lunch?

"Go ahead, pull my finger."

It can't all be just chaos, can it? Then again, I'm not sure I can go on, thinking that God may well have left my fate in the hands of a few overtasked, cranky entities.

Maybe I just need a beer and a bubble bath.


Mad Scientist said...

Annie - Go ahead and take the bubble bath just remember to thank God for the hot water or else the committee might decide socal is overdue for a magnitude 10 earthquake.

Rory L. Aronsky said...

I got into the same frame of mind the other morning, but not the same topic. I got to wondering why the names Adam and Eve were chosen. He couldn't come up with anything better? Surely He must have had a big name book somewhere, even a baby book since that was basically the case in the creation of humanity.

Me, I would have decided on Bulldog and Sparkles.

Annie said...

I agree, Rory. The Bible needs a rewrite. Maybe some sitcom people from FOX could do it. They can't be that busy over there.

entity #1729 said...

"please stay on the line. all our entities are engaged. your prayer is important to us. estimated wait time: six...thousand...years."

My name is Heather said...

Hi stranger. I haven't been here for so very long. LOVED this post!! Thanks!!

Annie said...

Hey, Heather - welcome back!