Monday, July 7, 2008

All You Can Eeeeeeew!

Our local baseball team offers All-you-can-eat tickets. I've never eaten a ticket so I can't vouch for the taste. Although I have snacked on the paper my 401k was written on, and that wasn't too bad. Had to get some sort of return on it, even if it's only indigestion.

Yes, the Los Angeles Dodgers of Chavez Ravine have converted one section of right field into Chowhound City. Now, for the advance price of $35, you can eat all the hot dogs, nachos, peanuts and popcorn you want. Soda and water are also included. Beer, ice cream and Tums cost extra. Hopefully the bathrooms are free of charge.

To be fair, with the sky-high prices of food at Dodger Stadium, this is probably a deal. I just couldn't handle watching the gluttonous piggies around me getting their money's worth and then some, filling the Kiss-cam as they smooch their Dodger Dogs.

How does someone eating a hot dog in Los Angeles affect you? Much like the proverbial butterfly on the other side of the world affects the motion of the earth, only this butterfly weighs in at a hefty 325 pounds. They don't have to run over your toe with their motorized wheelchair to have an impact. We’re all forking over health dollars to pay for these people’s diabetes medications and heart operations.

According to a recent article on, What If No One Were Fat?*, the savings of a leaner, meaner country would add up to a whopping $487 billion. That's almost 3.5% of gross domestic product- key word ‘gross.’ The savings on health insurance, food, etc., would give each of us $4,270- enough to buy a home gym, or a few gallons of gas.

Of course this is all wishful thinking. But if we considered overeating much like we consider littering, perhaps we'd all be a bit better off, health-wise and financially. There's a reason chubby butterflies don't make it. The other butterflies get tired of pushing their wheelchairs around.

Next up - the Marlboro ‘All-you-can-puff’ NASCAR veranda, coming soon to a pit row near you.


Mad Scientist said...

I have sat in the all you can eat pavilion. I don't eat Dodger dogs. It was in the 90's and a day game so the "free" water was well worth the ticket price. The peanuts were kept for future games and I left the rest behind.

You forgot to mention that one day the weight in the all you can eat section will out weigh the rest of Dodger stadium causing the whole stadium to tilt to one side and crash down the hill into downtown...

Anonymous said...

lol at Mad's vision. :)

I bet the ballparks make a ton of money on this....because I don't' think they would do it otherwise.


PracticallyJoe said...

How does someone eating a hot dog in Los Angeles affect you?
You people on the West coast have to keep us on the East coast informed so we can maintain a balance ... To do my part I'll throw one on the grill.

Annie said...

I'm sure they do make a ton of money on this idea. And if the stadium ever tilts and tumbles, as Mad suggests, I'm sure McCourt will take the opportunity to fulfull his dream of turning the whole ravine into condos.

Mad Scientist said...

I don't know I'm pretty sure I drank more than $20 worth of water on that hot summer day. I will never sit in those seats for a day game again. Too hot!

Last night was a near perfect night at the ravine. For the pitcher too. Was a fun time.

Anonymous said...

Nobody's discussin' the most important point...the "Marlboro, all-you-can-puff, NASCAR" veranda thingy.
Is that the same as a patio?
And can I get a ticket?