Monday, November 20, 2006

Turkey a la Mode

As a kid, I celebrated the traditional family Thanksgiving - all day cooking, tons of food, a cool fall nip in the air. My mom would try to intercept my grandmother from salting the traditional daylights out of every dish. My younger brother would stand by the temperamental oven with the fire extinguisher, in case it 'overheated,' a traditional Celtic term meaning housefire. My other brother would discover a sudden, latent interest in football, aka 'any-excuse-not-to-help-in-the-kitchen.' My younger sister would 'help,' but ruin anything she touched, so our mom would shoo her off to play. At the time I thought my sister was clueless. Now I work with people who practice similar levels of incompetency. I call it planned adolescence.

Sometimes traditions bite. I used to prepare a big turkey, stuff it and roast it. My ex-to-be would then rise from his slumber on the couch, consume the burnt offering, burp, and return to his cushioned throne of torpor. Not long after that, I told the big turkey to stuff it.

I've started a new tradition. On the day before Thanksgiving, we go to the grocery store and watch the frantic shoppers. On Thanksgiving Day, we carve the traditional Southern California turkey...made of ice cream. On the day after Thanksgiving, we go to the mall and watch the frantic shoppers. And we give thanks for our untraditional traditions.


stevie w said...

Have you read Calvin Trilln's essay on why spaghetti primavera should be the traditional Thanksgiving meal? If not, read the entire book it appears in, his "American Fried: Confessions of a Happy Eater."

PS Molto cute pic.

rita said...

That's my kind of turkey!

Thanksgiving is the holiday when my father, who is so tolerant of screaming kids when they belong to my youngest cousin but not his own grandchildren (not that we're bitter about it or anything like that), once heard the grandchildren change the channel on his television which was downstairs and went running down to scream at them.

I don't think he even realized that the carving knife was in his hand.

El said...

WTG, Annie!

Ice cream turkey sounds delish!

Lisa said...

Did he carve all the spinkles off first?

Oh, how 'bout a Leggo Turkey? (not to be confused with a leg o' turkey)

Annie said...

Thanks, Stevie - I will check it out.

lairbo said...


I don't know if you're a native Angeleno but if you've been there long enough, you'll probably get a kick out of this.

It's this TV writer's blog and in today's post he remembers the hilariously not-so-fabulous Hollywood Santa Claus Parade. I hadn't thought about it for years (I've been in NY for many, many years and which, yes, is a lonely town when you're the only surfer boy around), but this brought it all back. Ah, the memories... where's my medication?

Anyway, happy ice cream turkey. Me and the beloved will be baking a Trader Joe's breast of bird and nuking high-grade take-out side dishes.