2. He never asks for directions.
3. He has staff. Staff! To hand out toys. Toys!
4. Workshop - puh-lease. He's got a 50" flatscreen and a beer fridge in there.
5. He uses the same lame line over and over again- 'Ho, ho, ho!'
6. When his machismo is threatened, he arm wrestles an elf.
7. Sure, he delivers toys all over the world. Would it kill him to put the trash out before he leaves?
8. H
e's out gallivanting all night, comes home at dawn and takes a nap.
9. He uses 8 reindeer and a 1905 Waggoneer Sleigh when a Lockheed C-5 Galaxy is more practical.
10. He sees you when you're sleeping (ick).
11. He insists on knowing who's naughty (again, ick).
12. He piddles around for a whole year, crams all his work into one night and ends up looking like a hero.
