Yay-Rod

I have had it up to

here

with the boo-bird A-Rod commentary. From now on, if a writer carps on A-Rod with the same old boring stuff, I'm going to bill him for the portion of my life I wasted reading his regurgitated pap.

We've all heard it so many times - fans boo A-Rod because he's not producing, he's not a clutch player, he hasn't won them a championship, yadda, yadda, yadda. Yes, he's paid a lot. Yes, he's the best. Yes, he's paid to win it all. Any writer offering these insightful revelations up as news fit to fill a column will be subject to my intense, personal hissing and namecalling. If the 'boo' fits....

Do we really want to be able to buy a trophy? That's the simplistic raison d'etre of Yankee-haters. But the glory of baseball is the lotto-esque feel - any group put together right has a chance. So while you can't buy it outright, since this is America, everyone has the opportunity to bust butt hard enough to build a team that can compete. George did, you just watched - get over it.

In the escapist mentality that is sports, Derek is Mr. Yankee Baseball, not A-Rod. Jeter, in all his bubblegum coolness, is a Shaftian Superman, a slick contrast to the 'Me Try Harder' Rodriguez. I even hear that Derek's bachelor pad resembles the Fortress of Solitude, but you ain't gettin' details outta me.

From his furrowed brow to his dusty cleats, A-Rod tries hard every day, sometimes too much, and sometimes- he goofs. Sometimes he's human, he's Clark Kent at third base. We all goof every day and would just as soon not be reminded by seeing his inward scowl, his frown because a sac fly didn't quite make it over the fence. We want a perfect comic book hero, not someone who grinds his own performance. Been there, left it there.

We want A-Rod to be Superman, but he's Everyman. It's easy to cheer Superman. It takes guts to cheer ourselves. And it's so much more important. And it's so much more of a (gasp!) story - helloooooo! Any writer who takes the easy route of dogpiling on A-Rod needs to go out and take the essay-equivalent of extra batting practice. And this time I want to see some real hustle!